10 Steps to Killer Confidence

"What's a queen without her crown? Still a queen."

I wasn't always confident. Hell, some days I still struggle with the rather elusive and fleeting feeling. Like self-love, I believe it's something that needs to be practiced and cultivated daily, and especially on the days when you don't feel like it at all. The humdrum slay motto of "fake it till you make it" is much more than a concept, it must be purposeful decided action. So the first step is to decide that you are confident, the steps that you do thereafter offer further support to that choice. Confidence is a state of being that follows a state of mind.

In order to be confident, you must believe it. As I said, despite knowing that, I do have my moments and my days when that confidence eludes me, wavering beneath the weight of doubt and insecurities. But that's being human. I'm not afraid to say that sometimes that humdrum fake it till you make it mantra is not always a motto my self-perception holds true. I become a walking cliche of every negative thing I've ever thought about myself. 

In those moments, I've found that the best remedy is a course of action. Tapping into your confidence is a method, and one that you have to make a routine out of it in order to ensure that it becomes a part of who you naturally are. These confidence boosters never fail to make me feel good about myself and I'm sure they'll help you feel instantly confident too.

1. Reciting positive affirmations. Say the things to yourself about yourself that you want others to see. Repeating affirmations to yourself every day is the quickest way to embody them. You become what you say you are. 

2. Accomplishing goals. Goal-setting and actively checking off your accomplishments helps you build confidence in the fact that you can achieve the things in life that you set out to achieve.

3. Wearing lingerie. It doesn't have to be the full getup, but choosing to wear dainty, lacy things as undergarments makes you feel instantly confident about yourself. There's something undeniably magical about being sexy for you first and foremost.

4. Spending quality time with loved ones. Immerse yourself in love by being around friends and family who can remind you of why and how you're loved. Catch up for monthly catch-up sessions over brunch and mimosas. 

5. Writing it out. Doing any form of writing is a great way to tap into your creativity while peeling back more layers of you. Get to know you on an intellectual and creative level by taking time out to write a poem, a short story, or that novel that's always teased your mind. Not a big creative writer? There's always journaling.

6. Giving yourself a little lip service. Put on some lipstick on days you aren't feeling your best, and watch how quickly your vampy pout makes you feel like a woman who can conquer the world. See how differently you feel when you trade your staple gloss for a matte red. Lipstick can also work wonders in your affirmation practices. Allow the words you say to yourself to act as writing on the wall with the help of lipstick and a mirror. 

7. Complimenting someone else. On days where you feel bombarded by comparisons that hold no merit while scrolling through social media feeds, find a compliment in the sea of insecurities. Instead of doing a side-by-side of the inadequacies you feel next to this person, say something positive in it and compliment them. 

8. Owning your flaws. The thing about flaws is they aren't flaws if you own them as a part of you. When you own them, they become quirks. So yes, you might hate the size of your breasts, the hyperpigmentation on your cheeks from old acne scars, your sparse eyebrows, the gap between your teeth, or the way your hair didn't behave this morning - but they are all a part of you. You must own them, love them, and find the beauty in them. 

9. Sweating it out. If you find that your mood is a little low or that insecurities are biting you at your ankles, hit the gym or do some exercises from home. Breaking a sweat gives you a glow, provides you with those feel-good endorphins, and gives your confidence a boosts physically and mentally.

10. Listening to things that feed your spirit. Curate a personal playlist of rap music that gives you that extra fuel in the mornings to turn up or tunes that have you waking up on the right side of the bed. Listen to podcasts that feature women you admire. Swaying to upbeat music or learning from positive girl bosses is a great way to spark your inner confidence. 

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What are some things you do to give yourself an instant confidence boost?