The Biggest Lesson I Learned From My Quarter Life Crisis
There are a few really "adult" things that I did upon turning 25:
- I reevaluated relationships that were weighing me down and were proving to be more negative than positive - whether it be from a reoccurring exchange of mismatched energy or blatant disrespect or disregard for me as a human.
- I let said relationships go. And I asked God to guide me away from the things that do not serve me and towards things that do.
- I have actively decided to do what I say I'm going to do. And not just what I say to others, but to myself as well. Over the years, my flakiness has gone into overdrive and I need to counter that.
- I made a plan of how I am going to achieve the life that I want.
More importantly, it forced me to figure out how I was going to acquire the things in life that I want. It made me assess things around me and ask the question, "Does the present align with what I see in my future?" and if it does not, I am letting go of that because it isn't for me. If the "choked me into submission" phrase wasn't an indicator, it has been a rough transition, but one that I think I'll be better because of.
For the past couple of years, I have had a symbolic celebration of my life here on the blog by including a lesson that I've learned in the year leading up to that anniversary of my birth. I didn't think I'd have one this year (hence why it's a couple of weeks late) until I realize the words I needed were in a now taken-down letter I wrote back in June. I spoke of stability and the lacking of such I've encountered throughout these past 12 months, and even further than that, in my life in general. As a Cancer, security is of the utmost importance to me and as someone who often embodies contradiction, it's something I run away from in search of too. Does that make sense?
Halfway through the year and I'm realizing how commonly the theme stability has rang true for me this year already. More specifically, the lack thereof that has made me reach out in search of it, craving it in the midst of insecurity that hang me out to dry. This year, life challenged me with two sudden job losses, an impromptu move back to home to recoup, and relationships on shaky, unsettled grounds.
At some points, I questioned how much fight I had left since life is a series of lows and some highs that act as a means to restore your faith once it feels like hope is gone. In short, stability has been my theme this year, and I'm thinking it will continue to be as things make a 180. No longer will my life be seen from a perspective of lacking, but instead one of abundance.
Brand new eyes.
I've come to realize that my quarter life crisis and turning 25 didn't sneak up on me at all, it's been my shadow this whole time. Right next to me. I'm seeing dots I don't think I'd otherwise connect if I didn't take this time to reflect. I'm thankful for this time, for this life, and for another year.
Lesson 25: See your life through a lens of abundance instead of one of lacking. Find security within yourself as you do love and then you will never be without.
Happy belated birthday to me.